Take This In. Remember This.

Today is the first day of November. My American friends are thinking about Thanksgiving and planning for turkey. My British friends are thinking about "Remember, Remember the 5th of November" and planning for bonfires. At this point of the year, I'm usually binging on Halloween candy and looking forward to Christmas. In between the "celebration" holidays, Remembrance Day tends to sit in the back of the mind. It's a day that I do appreciate, but I'm guilty of forgetting until "the day of" and taking a moment to really appreciate it becomes an afterthought. This year it has been on my mind with much more weight than usual.

On 20 & 22 October 2014, two different attacks were carried out against Canadian  soldiers, killing two. These events were shocking to everyday Canadians as, fortunately, we are not accustomed to such attacks within our own country, and certainly not from one of our own. Much has been said about these events and as I tried to process it all from across an ocean, I went through a range of emotions: confusion at mixed reports, fear and sadness. I felt disgust at the complete lack of feeling required to kill an unarmed soldier acting as a ceremonial guard at a War Memorial. Finally, gratitude.

I cannot find the credit for this photo.
 If anyone knows it, please let me know!

I have always been grateful for my freedoms, but I know that I take it for granted. I really have to think to come up with many "large scale" homicides in Canada within the last few years. Last year, 3 RCMP officers were killed in Moncton, New Brunswick and in 2005, 4 RCMP officers were killed in Mayerthorpe, Alberta, which was the worst multiple officer killing in modern Canadian history. Of non-officer deaths, I can recall 2 incidents resulting in deaths in schools. Combined with last month's events, these are the most shocking Canadian events in my 29 year memory. The truth is though, that this is a small number and is a testament to our usual peaceful state and the current increase is an eye opener to what other nations experience almost daily.

Over the past month or so, London has been preparing for Remembrance Day by creating an immense poppy display in the moat at the Tower of London to commemorate 100 years since the start of World War I. With current events in my mind, I finally made my way over there this morning and I'm not sure I can accurately describe my feelings there. At first, I thought about how beautiful it is and then hoped that the mass of people thronging to see would not ruin the experience. Instead, those people made it that much more touching.

I watched as red-shirted volunteers worked alongside cadets and military personnel. They laughed with one another and assembled the flowers methodically and respectfully. They took photos together, probably having made new friends through this experience.

I listened to parents explain the poppies to their children, that each of the 888,246 ceramic flowers symbolized a British soldier killed during the war.

One little girl asked why the war started and her mother explained that someone wanted somebody else's land and power.

"A silly reason to start a war isn't it?" 

I was nearly moved to tears when I heard a woman say to a young child what a unique and precious experience it is. 

"Take this in. Remember this." 

I looked out at the sea of red poppies and thought about each one as a body, as a person. If nearly 900,000 poppies could fill a large moat, how much more would that number of people fill a battlefield? And then a cemetery?  How would it empty a heart? And not just the hearts of those who lost loved ones, but of those that saw that loss and survived? It's an incredible visual.

As far as I understand, the number of poppies do not include the deaths of Commonwealth soldiers. I wonder if the reason for this decision was that there simply was not room enough to include Canada, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa casualties.

 As I made my way around the tower, through the crowds,  everyone was respectful in waiting for a place to get a photo and then politely making room for others. I felt that everyone was touched by the display. Even the usual chatter that accompanies such a large gathering of people seemed to be at a lower volume level. It was much more than a tourist attraction - it truly became what it had been intended to be, a memorial. There was a tangible feeling of respect and honour in the air.

My personal experience with war is incredibly limited, but I see more and more how it has shaped me. I remember school assemblies for Remembrance Day. I always thought I needed to have something something profound to think of during the moment of silence. It was easiest to think of my Grandpa, my Dad's father who had served as a mechanic for the Canadian Forces in WWII. He died when I was quite young and I was not able to get to know him as well as I would have liked. After he passed away, I remember going to my Grandma's and my Dad offered to show me his father's Dog-Tags from the war. I was fascinated and my young mind imagined the war as a great fairy tale of brave soldiers triumphing over evil. I felt proud that my Grandpa had contributed to that victory. 

My great-grandfather on my Mom's side served in WWI for the British Forces. I never knew him and didn't know much about him as a child.  Moving here, I have been able to learn more about him and how the war changed him. I see how it affected my Granny as she tried to understand a withdrawn father who refused to speak of it or receive recognition for any of his actions. She and her siblings then grew up through WWII, with bombings in England and rationing of food. That shaped her and how she raised her family and in turn, shaped the person my Mom is and who I am.

In my mind, I still sometimes imagine the world as a fairy tale place where good will always triumph, and I hope that this is true, but each day I better understand the cost.  It feels safe to say that we all know someone who serves their respective country, has given their life to do so or is a friend to someone who has lost a loved one. This year, I am more aware of them, and more aware of how lucky I am.

On 11 November, last year, I got on a plane to London and, essentially, started a new life. I was wearing a Canadian poppy on that day, and in the wake of recent news, I searched it out.  It has become a great conversation starter as classmates and tutors have noticed it and we compare it to the British one. Some of them are surprised to learn that it was a Canadian who wrote "In Flanders Fields". I learned that the leaf included on the British poppy is meant to represent 11:00, the end of the war.  I have learned about different traditions of Remembrance from my New Zealand friend who "remembers" in April with Poppy Day in commemoration of a battle significant to them. 

This past year has been a year of gratitude for me. I find myself constantly overwhelmed at the opportunities I am able to take and the people who support me in my goals. Today, I truly appreciate AND FEEL the freedom that allows me to have all this. When I think back to those school assemblies, trying to think the "right" thoughts and feel the "correct" emotions, I remember crying a little bit during "The Last Post", not knowing why, except that it was probably a good thing to do. I would wipe away the tears nonchalantly and hope my classmates wouldn't notice. Maybe it's all just part of growing up, but I understand now, and as my understanding increases, so too does my gratitude.

To that wise woman walking behind me today:

I have taken this in.

I will remember.

Lessons from London

A blog post is long overdue, I know. 

The big question is still looming: Have I been accepted to school? The short answer is No. Not yet at least. June is the month. Let the manic post-box-watching begin. 

If I don't get into RADA, at least I'll be in good company. Thanks Gary Oldman!
I'm also on the lookout for a LAMDA reject to commiserate with.  

In the meantime, instead of a lengthy catch-up on my recent adventures, to celebrate my 6 months in London, I present, for your entertainment, a list of 20 things I've learned (or re-learned) from this amazing city. 

1. Never buy more than you can carry

I would've taken a photo of myself
carrying the weekly shop, but...

2. The best weight loss program is poverty and public transit.

No thanks. I still have a walk, a train, a walk,
a bus and a walk between here and home.
(Which has taken care of 20lbs, thank you very much!) 

3. Happiness is a clean public toilet, preferably free of charge.

Not this one. Not especially clean and not free. 

4. Public naps are completely acceptable. Well, almost. 

5. If I don't get into theatre, I will probably run back to film.

The film crews are loving all of my job locations. 

 6. It really doesn't matter what you wear 

as long as you wear it with confidence.

7. Zebra Crossings (crosswalks) and walk signals are for tourists. 

That's Zeh-bra, not Zee-bra, you tourist!

 8. The best seat on the bus is on the top deck, right above the driver: 

A full window view and extra leg room!

Yeah, I took a selfie on a bus.Moving on.
 Look at that leg room! 

9. A two mile walk is not really THAT far.

I will always choose this over a
 26 min crowded Tube-strike bus. 

10. Somehow, someway, everything always fits.

I don't understand. 

Mid-List Sub Category: "Heard on the Underground"  

a. Never take yourself too seriously, especially at work. 

"Oh yes. Something about closing doors. Um, yes. Mind the doors.  
They're going to close! Ish. Maybe. There they go!" - Leyton Station

b. Trains are like jeans, not yoga pants

"If you are not getting on this train, please stand back from the doors. 
The sides are NOT expandable."  - Mile End Station

c. Health and Safety is paramount.

"Please stand clear. We can't move until the doors are closed and you're all nice and safe. Thank you." - Liverpool Street Station

d. Toes are also important

"Please mind the closing doors. Pull your bags in. Pull your clothes in. Mind your toes. Fantastic." - Piccadilly Circus Station

11. Inspiration will show up in the unlikeliest of places. 

12. Cheekiness is always an acceptable form of communication.

13. Homesickness takes strange forms.  

14. I don't have to know when my next journey will begin. 

15. Being "JUST a Temp" is actually pretty awesome. 

Thank you, Miranda Hart. 

16. Oompa Loompas are taller than I imagined. And more Irish.    

I thought I was just going to see Windsor Castle and then this happened.

17. With the right motivation, I can accomplish anything. 

If you want to see fear, watch a bus stand after the trains stop. 

18. The things I think will never happen, will happen. They already have. 

I have seen all of these plays and more.
I still cannot believe it. I actually live in London.

19. "There is nothing more freeing and empowering 

than learning to like your own company." - Mandy Hale

20. Friendship can happen anytime, anywhere. 

The stranger at "Richard II" became the friend sitting next to me at "Birdland".

Conclusion: I am a lucky girl!

Yes, I WOULD Prefer Not To.

The past few weeks have been eventful, to say the least. I've filmed a music video,  made a 24 hour trip to Dublin, attended a BAFTA event at The Royal Albert Hall, and joined a pillow fight in Trafalgar Square!

Let me preface: I have a wise friend, who once told me "Say 'YES' more often. It will change your life." I've been trying to take this advice. Sometimes that is saying YES to a friend's invitation and sometimes that is saying YES to myself. In my continued efforts to save money, I find myself being really picky about the events that I choose to be a part of.  There are so many great opportunities available to me, but I'm always hesitant to say 'yes' without taking a look at the budget.  This isn't a bad thing, but I need to remember that I'm not just here for to apply for school. I'm also here to EXPERIENCE living in London. Honestly, school might not work out and I don't want to regret not taking advantage of SOME of the perks of living here. Not all, just some. In the end it's just money, right? *sigh* Right.

So, how has all of this come about? Well, the first is due to two very talented friends that I have had the pleasure of meeting here. One is a singer/songwriter from the USA and the other is an actress from New Zealand. Add my film training into the mix and it's a match made in heaven.

The Musician, The Techie and The Actress

In an effort to get some show reel footage for herself and turn the singer into a YouTube sensation, the actress orchestrated a music video. And by orchestrated, I mean that she said to me "We should make a music video!" and I said "Sure. I can film and edit, but you have to make a shot list or I'm not doing it." That's my "1st AD" side showing.

The beautiful view from the flat of South London and Battersea Power Station. 

We're also blessed with a friend who owns a piano and lives in a beautiful flat in Chelsea, so we filmed the interior shots at her place and then walked to Hyde Park for the exteriors. Along the way, we received life/career advice from a random guy in McDonald's who turned out to be a professional video editor for itv and BBC, then hi-jacked one of our guy friends on the street to be in our music video, and used the torch/flashlight apps on our iPhones to light the evening-turned-night-because-of-random-McDonald's-guy scenes.

If I ever finish editing the darn thing, I will post the link in an upcoming blog :-) 

Now: Dublin. I know what you're thinking. "Megan, you've been there 3 times already. In fact, you were just there in January. Pick a new destination." To you I say, "Go there and tell me you don't want to go back." There. Now that's settled, we can move on.

Dublin wasn't at it's most charming, but it was at it's most Irish.I wandered the city on foot,
focusing on free attractions to save money and relishing each new discovery that
you just don't see from a bus or read about in the guide books.
Even though my umbrella broke and  I was wet for most of the day,
I loved every minute of it! (Despite the above expression!) 

But you're right. I have been there many times, so why go back so soon? Well, back in October, before I came to London, I tried to buy tickets to see Miranda Hart's live show. I couldn't get tickets to the London show, so I decided to buy tickets to the Dublin show. I didn't know if I would still be in London in March and if so, I could just fly over right? However, I later managed to find a ticket for the London show on a re-selling site and decided to keep the Dublin ticket and just sell whichever I didn't need when the time came. Well, the Dublin ticket wasn't selling a week before the show, so after I'd worked out the cost of a flight, hotel and food for the day, I decided I'd rather spend £175 or so to spend the day in Dublin rather than swallow the €45 cost of the show ticket. Really, did anyone really think I was going to pass up an opportunity to go back to Ireland? 

Arbour Hill Cemetary: Memorial Wall with the declaration of the Irish Republic.
 The leaders of the 1916 Easter Uprising are buried in a plot adjacent to the wall. 

St Patrick's Cathedral

Stairway to the Pipe Organ, St Patrick's Cathedral

Small chapel, St Patrick's Cathedral

St. Patrick's Cathedral.

Cheap admission.
A warm chair to sit on & dry off.
A lovely choir to listen to.
An Irish tour guide to laugh with.
Beautiful architecture to photograph.
Happy Megan.

St. Stephen's Green 

Merrion Square 

Getting ready to see my favourite comedian, Miranda Hart!
It was AMAZING. The London show is tomorrow and
 I'm so excited to see her perform again! 

The River Liffey, from O'Connell Street Bridge, Dublin. 5:00am

When I say I spent less than 24 hours in Dublin, I'm not exaggerating. I landed in Dublin around 9am on Saturday morning and flew out on Sunday morning at 740am. Which means that I woke up at 4am on Saturday and at 5am on Sunday to catch my flights. I completely skipped church and slept all day.  It was a crazy weekend, but  it was absolutely worth it. It'll be a great story to tell the kids someday :-)

On the Monday following the Miranda show in Dublin, I attended a "BAFTA Conversation" at The Royal Albert Hall. This was probably the best £10 I've spent in London. The composer was Michael Price, who has been a Music Editor on "The Lord of the Rings", "Children of Men" and others. More recently, he is known as one of the two composers who have created the score for BBC's "Sherlock."

At first I thought it was a white piano lit to red.
When the lights went up, I realized it is just a very RED piano.
Apparently, it belonged to Elton John. Of course. 

The evening was really interesting. It consisted of an interviewer doing just what the title implies, leading a conversation with the composer. They showed clips of his work and discussed processes, experiences etc. It was interesting to hear what it was like to work on "The Lord of the Rings." Howard Shore was the main composer for the films and I love his work. Michael shared what it was like to work as part of such a massive team, but said despite Howard's brilliance, he doesn't agree with that kind of process. He learned from that experience that he likes the smaller team setting. I think that may have been what led him from being an editor to composing his own material. I really liked what he had to say about "finding yourself." (My phrase, not his.)

Our experiences shape us and it's often the ones that teach us what we DO NOT want to do that are the most valuable. I thought I wanted to be a photographer, but then I sold cameras to a lot of photographers and realized I didn't want that life. So I tried film school instead. I thought I'd work in camera and lighting. Two projects in, I decided I'd rather be an AD. But that still wasn't quite it. Something was still missing. Now, I'm pursuing theatre. I hope everything works out, but if not, I know it will lead me to where I should be next. My point is that you never know where your experiences, good or bad,  will lead you, so don't be afraid of trying. Don't be afraid to make a mistake. Or two. Or three...

The last portion of the evening was spent discussing his work on "Sherlock." He played some bits on the piano and explained the "Four Chord Themes"  that each of the major characters have. He even brought a cellist on stage and they played "The Woman" live. It was beautiful. He also took a few questions from the audience and told one music student to buy a nice moleskin notebook to compose with; "Stationary Porn", he called it. Basically, get a nice notebook that you WANT to write in and sit at the piano to work out your themes before you even go near a computer. Also, Beryl Vertue, the Executive Producer was in the audience and politely raised her hand to ask him a question, her own employee! She's a sweet lady. Michael proudly announced her presence and said "She produces "Sherlock" and well, pretty much all of TV. It's like the Queen is in the room." 

Last but not least, how did I end up in a pillow fight at Trafalgar Square? Well, it was International Pillow Fight Day and London's designated spot was the square. I had read about it earlier in the week, thought it was funny and would make for some good photos, but honestly admitted I would only want to go for the photos and promptly forgot about it. I spent that morning innocently enough. I helped a friend to move house and we went for breakfast. When we finished she said some other BritBound friends were meeting up for the pillow fight and asked if I wanted to come along.  I'm an introvert by nature, and honestly, when someone invites me to do something even remotely out of my comfort zone, in my head I'm already thinking this: 

The inner monologue of every introvert I know.
I almost bought this t-shirt on sight.

I couldn't say no based on money. A cheap pillow would hardly break the bank. I had to ask myself "Why am I saying 'No' to this?  What else will I do? Go home and do my laundry? I'm already living in a foreign country, I can take one step further out of my comfort zone."

So I joined the mayhem. I opted not to buy a pillow (the stores were nearly sold out anyway) and instead dubbed myself as the official photographer for our little group of foreigners (mostly Aussies and Canadians). I can only describe it as madness and complete lunacy, but it was great. I might even go so far as to say it was brilliant. 

 Everyone was having fun and strangers were interacting with other strangers. Seriously. The English were making eye contact with strangers and then happily smacking each other with a pillow. I think I witnessed a miracle.  Also, I'm sure I will never again see a tough looking man hide behind a bull dog pillow to avoid the fuzzy green attack of little girl with a backpack.

My crazy Aussie friend and I buried in feathers.
This is all her fault. 

So, the moral of the story is: The next time you're debating, what I call "Expense over Experience" or  are invited out of your comfort zone, say Yes! You never know what will happen!

Or say "I would prefer not to." You never know what will happen.

PS: Drama school update - I am now on the short list for RADA and LAMDA! That means I have a 1 in 5 chance of getting into each school... so 50% plus 25%... no, divided by...? Subtract 25 from....Add? No.....  um. Ok, so there's a reason I'm going into the arts. 

Drama School. Oh, the DRAMA.

*Note: Maybe you all know this, but I've discovered that if you click on the photos, they get bigger and you can scroll through them! You already knew that? Ok, back to business.*

I've been putting off the writing of this post for a while now. I needed some time to think on things for myself before I put my thoughts out into the world. I have now attended both interviews for the two schools that I have been dreaming about for the last two years. It has all led to this. The results of either of these interviews will determine my foreseeable future. The next year could be spent in the UK, before going home to re-evaluate my life. Again. Or, the next 2 years could lead to a lifetime in this country.

Leading up to my interview with RADA, I had given notice on my house without a replacement. My temp position had just ended and my finances were feeling strained from all of my travels. In my over-emotional state, I was convinced I would be homeless, unemployed and too stressed to interview well, thus not be accepted, never have a proper career and become a useless waste to humanity. I knew and know that this is a ridiculous mindset to have been in, but I was staring at the day I'd been planning for for two years and it didn't look at all how I imagined.

Fortunately, I have amazing friends who helped me to arrange a blessing from one of the priesthood holders at church and it really calmed my mind. I was assured that my Heavenly Father is mindful of me and that He knows the desires of my heart. It's what I needed to hear and I was able to put my other worries out of my mind to focus on RADA.

February 19, 2014
The Royal Academy of Dramatic Art
Never have two statues appeared more intimidating.
I think I'd rather have faced a Weeping Angel at that  moment. 

I arrived at RADA in good time; plenty enough to sit in the foyer and wonder how I had finally arrived at this moment. I thought of all of the people who had sat in this place before me: Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon, Vivien Leigh, Alan Rickman, Peter O'Toole, Anthony Hopkins, Tom Hiddleston, Alex Kingston, Fiona Shaw. I managed a sneaky photo of the foyer, complete with  a recent article about Hiddleston pinned to the cork board. I felt some relief that I'm not an actor attempting to get in. The competition is even greater for the acting program!

Foyer at RADA

There were four of us to be interviewed that day. Before the interviews began, we were given a tour of the school by a second year student. I was amazed at how big the school actually is. It looks so small from the street, but it's like Hogwarts... it just keeps expanding once you're inside! The largest of the school's theatres has a tension wire grid which we were allowed to climb up to and walk around on! It was a really cool experience.

RADA's Tension Wire Grid
(Credit to http://www.thecablenet.net/rada.php) 

The interview itself was....interesting. It began with light chit chat and I was feeling OK. I knew I had been over-emotional that week so I was trying to present myself as positive, collected and mature, with a bit of humour, which is my usual disposition. They were interested in my past experience in film and framing etc and I spoke of how I came to the conclusion that this is what I want to do. Finally, and quite suddenly, the main interviewer expressed his concern to me about my lack of experience and the possibility that I don't really know what I'm getting myself into. Basically, I felt he was calling me a flight-risk; that I'd get a place, change my mind and that place would be lost to a more deserving student. He apologized for the difficult question, but asked me to defend myself to his concerns. 

I'm sure the fear in my eyes was clearly visible at that moment and I felt myself choking up. When I said I would try to answer his question "eloquently, without getting emotional," he responded: "Maybe you should (get emotional). It might help your cause." What I then proceeded to say, I can hardly remember. I recall saying that I'm not willing to waste my time, let alone anyone else's and that if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right. I admitted that by thinking I understand how much work it is, that I still have no idea, but failing is worse than not trying at all. I explained that I'd been working two jobs for the last two years, just to be able to afford to move here to interview, so I do not take it lightly. I rambled off other things, I'm sure, but when I reached that ever strange point where one no longer has anything to say, I sort of just trailed off. I was trying to think of something eloquent to say to make up for the ramble I'd just gone on, but he stopped me, smiled and said "that's what I wanted to hear." He then declared to other interviewers that they ought to put my out of my misery and walked me to the door. As I walked out, he re-assured me that I'd given a good answer and apologized for putting me through that. I was able to leave the building with composure, but I was holding back tears during my entire walk to the train station. 

I met up with two friends afterwards who were excited to hear how my day had gone. We sat in Kensington Gardens as they patiently listened to me exclaim "I've just moved across a bloody ocean to attend that interview. Isn't that commitment enough? What does he want from me?!" Now that I can look back on it,  I know what he was trying to do. I was so focused on trying to contain my emotions that I forgot that emotions are exactly what they are looking for. These schools are not looking for perfect grades or academic prowess. They openly announce that they want people who are passionate and teachable. That's it. I see now that I had my walls up to keep myself calm and he had to break them down as quickly as possible to see how serious I am.

As upset as I was, I am glad it went the way it did. It was a good reminder to myself of how much I want this. I think maybe I'd forgotten. Or maybe I've been afraid to truly admit it. The tears I fought were not really tears of sadness that the interview hadn't gone as perfectly as I'd hoped. I was frustrated with myself for not showing immediately how committed I am and I was scared that I'd just wasted my opportunity. I've been chasing this for two years. My commitment and passion should be completely obvious to anyone who speaks to me for more than five minutes. Sometimes I think I'm afraid to want this for fear of never obtaining it. 

"There are a lot of people in this world who are afraid of caring, or afraid of showing that they care because it’s uncool, it’s uncool to have passion. It’s so much easier to lose when you’ve shown everyone you don’t care if you win or lose. It’s much harder to lose when you show that you care; but you’ll never win unless you also stand to lose ... don’t be afraid of your passion; ...  just give it free reign, and be honest, and work hard, and it’ll all turn out just fine"

- Tom Hiddleston

I'm happy to say that the LAMDA interview went much more smoothly! It was such a contrast, in so many ways. I had found a place to live, without 4am electric guitar solos, which meant I was actually well rested and my new job had just began. My worldly cares were no longer an issue. I already had a portfolio prepared from RADA, so I didn't need to worry about that. I went to work in Holborn that morning, ate lunch at my friend's place near Paddington, and then continued on to LAMDA in Hammersmith. I did a have a train delay (I HATE the District Line), but I ran from the train station, heels and all, and made it to the school right at 2pm.

March 5, 2014
The London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art

 As RADA, there were four of us to be interviewed that day (all girls!), and we received a tour of the building from a graduate before the interviews. LAMDA will be undergoing renovations to build a new theatre next year, so a lot of the tour consisted of "this will be knocked down. That is going as well..."

CGI rendering of LAMDA's expansion
http://www.lamda.org.uk/support-us/act-now/our-new-facilities

I was up first for the interviews, which was nice. I missed out on chatting with the other candidates, but it was good to go straight in without time to sit and over-think. I could have just as easily pondered past alumni as I did at RADA. Let's see, LAMDA trained Richard Armitage, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Colin Baker, Jim Broadbent, Richard Harris, Antony Head, Benedict Cumberbatch, Katherine Parkinson, Patricia Hodge, Rory Kinnear, Donald Sutherland, and John Lithgow. I'm sure I've listed these before, but it's good to be reminded of the company I'll be in if I prove myself worthy to join this list.

I was disappointed that the program director who I'd met at the open house was not at the interview. I'd been feeling good about the fact that he'd know a little about me already, but he was unavailable for that day. The Technical Director and the Director of the Stage Management program led the interview in his stead. They were both very friendly and gave me a few minutes to introduce myself and talk about my portfolio before they started with their questions. That was a nice ice-breaker and it gave me a chance to present myself properly. RADA had prepared me for that! The man asked me some general theatre questions similar to ones I'd answered on a questionnaire at RADA, and then the woman asked me some specific stage management questions. I felt quite proud of myself that I could finally explain the difference between the Stage Manager, Deputy Stage Manager and Assistant Stage Manager!

The irony, though, is that I was able to explain the Stage Management hierarchy, but when she asked me what the process of rehearsing an actor's movement is called, I went blank and guessed "Cues?" When she responded that it's "blocking," I scoffed at myself. "Oh, it's the same as film. I'm over-thinking this, aren't I?" I was able to relax a little after that.

My favourite moment was when she asked me how I would go about sourcing a 1900s armchair for an onstage prop without using the internet. I mused about antique shops and then added "But I'd probably go to a library first." I was about to continue on about speaking to experts etc, but they both stopped me and said that "a library" was all they wanted to hear. I laughed and assured them that "I love a good library. You will have no problem getting me into one."

LAMDA was not without its own intense moments, though. When she asked me what my biggest/proudest accomplishment has been thus far, I asked "In life?!" I thought for a few moments and, in the end, I couldn't think of anything better than that exact moment. After a year of trying to get into film and then being really depressed and full of self pity, I had spent the next two years planning to get into that room. I explained how difficult it had been to face myself and ask what I really wanted from life and how I was going to accomplish it. Even typing in  a Google search for Stage Management programs had been nerve-wracking, because I knew that if I started down this path I would have to see it through. Really, I could have just said to her that sitting in that chair was my proudest moment, but I think it would still have required a little explanation!

Now, the wait begins. I've yet to hear from RADA, but the shortlist is  the best result I'm expecting at the moment. Both schools will continue to take applications until the end of March, so there are very few places that will be offered before they finish interviews.

The good news is that I received a letter from LAMDA yesterday and I've been placed on the shortlist. I'm excited for it, but I'm also dreading that it's just more time to have my hopes up and then dashed with rejection. If the answer is "No", I'd rather know right now! They've stated that I should have an official result in mid-June: 2 1/2 months more of waiting. (FYI, acceptance rates are 1 in 5. Those are my odds.)

So, dear readers, you are now subject to 2 1/2 more months of dealing with me dealing with the unknown. Not to worry though; given my track record, that'll only be 2 Blog posts to read! I do have some interesting ideas for fun posts though; less about me and more about London. Let's just say that The Underground can be a very entertaining place!